Gratitude | Lorne Rubis

Applying Gratitude Leadership Nano Tools… Huh?

Key Point: Learn how to discover and use Nano Tools for accellerating a happiness and gratitude culture. Nano Tools are fast, effective leadership tools that you can learn and start using in less than 15 minutes — with the potential to significantly impact your success as a leader.

I’m going to share Nano Tools relative to the impact of workplace positivity below. The following is from a great Wharton blog on this topic:

The happiness advantage grows from the fact that “positivity,” (the cultivation of happiness or positive emotions), has a direct relationship with the productivity and success of individuals and teams. Positivity includes GRATITUDE and APPRECIATION for others as well as favorable self-regard, and can be fostered by both thoughts purposeful activity, such as exercise and use of signature strengths. Research shows that workplace positivity has many measurable benefits:

• 3x more creativity.

• 31 percent higher productivity.

• 23 percent fewer fatigue symptoms.

• 37 percent greater sales.

• 40 percent more likely to get a promotion.

• 10x more engagement.

The findings help explain why companies like Google, Yahoo!, and Virgin cultivate work environments that help their employees experience positive emotions on a regular basis.

Positivity drives results and gratitude helps drive positivity! More than a decade of empirical studies has proven the profound effect that GRATITUDE has on the way our brains are wired — even if it sounds simplistic or hokey. Actually, in Matthew McConaughey’s inspirational Academy Award acceptance speech for his Best Actor Oscar, he said “it’s a scientific fact that gratitude reciprocates.” Here’s one example:

• In a survey by Shawn Achor in partnership with Training Magazine, 400 HR and learning and development leaders were asked to keep a positive habit (write three “gratitudes” per day, write a positive two-minute email to someone at work, or journal about a positive experience for two minutes). Two weeks later they were tested again. Those who successfully created the positive habit showed a 20 percent decrease in stress, had 12 percent more energy, and were twice as likely to rate themselves as higher on the happiness measure.

Smart companies are putting gratitude into action. A team at American Express encouraged their employees to set a Microsoft Outlook alert for 11:00 a.m. every day to remind themselves to write down three things they are grateful for. At Mattress Firm, VP of Learning and Development Cory Ludens encourages his company to write their gratitude before checking their e-mail in the morning. The COO and President of Nationwide Insurance, Mark Pizzi, often shares his gratitude with his company on Yammer, an internal social platform. Additional research shows that the act of writing gratitude leads to greater levels of optimism and that optimism results in greater levels of sales and productivity.

Character Moves (Nano Tools):

Use Microsoft Outlook and schedule this.

Take five minutes and list three gratitudes daily. I know this sounds overly simple, but the data behind gratitude journaling is compelling. Follow the practice used in several top companies by setting aside a specific time each day to keep a Gratitude List. You’re training your brain to tune into the positives and opportunities around you.
Take two seconds to write two words: “Thank You,” daily… Pretty easy and straightforward, right? Then take a minute longer to write down specifically why you’re thanking that person. Now send the thank you out accordingly.
Do the above for 30 days and see if these gratitude and appreciation nano tools and habit system makes a difference to you and others. What have you got to lose?

Nano gratitude and appreciation in The Triangle,

Lorne

P.S. if you’re looking for more Nano Tool references, check out this comprehensive list.

Top ‘Be Accountable’ Blogs of 2013

Accountability Gratitude

Key Point: Thank you for the wonderful response to the many self-accountability blogs this year. Here are five that touched many people in somewhat unique ways.

1. My blog entitled “Cancer Has Changed Me… How About You?” hit a tender spot in many. It is based on the profound insights shared by a friend who prematurely left this earth.

2. My “Eat That Frog Today” blog connected with people based on the concept of ” doing it now” and avoiding procrastination.

3. The “Are You Growing Your Personal Equity?” blog is a break through concept that I genuinely believe will become the new normal for organizations and people over this next decade.

4. “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” is a wonderful quote by Mary Oliver. The “Can You Answer a ‘Beautiful, Haunting’ Question?” blog helps us reply to this self-reflection.

5. The “Person Writing on the Whiteboard Has the Eraser” metaphor captured people’s attention to the fact that our roles are under constant evaluation.

Character Moves:

Read one or more of the above “favorites” or go to lornerubis.com and tour the 2013 Be Accountable section. You may find others that are more meaningful to you.
If you haven’t had the opportunity, please read my gift to you blog published December, 24. It puts a nice wrap to the blogs over the year.

Accountability Favorites in The Triangle,

Lorne

Don’t Be a ‘Pickle Face’ This Holiday Season

Abundance Gratitude Growth mindset

Key Point: I will always remember a senior executive, who was a sponsor and mentor, telling me that I looked “sour.” Those were his exact words… Ouch. They stick with me because that is not my normal disposition. Not too long after, I left the company. Clearly, the joy had left me at work and I didn’t even realize how much I was a carrier of gloom. It can come over the best of us like a fog, getting thicker as time goes on. As leaders we cannot afford to be unaware of the mood we transmit.

Pope Francis is Time magazine’s 2013 Person of The Year. Recently polls undertaken both by NBC News/Wall Street Journal and ABC/Washington Post, reported that the general public, regardless of religious view or affiliation, gave Pope Francis very positive approval ratings. Maybe the following is one example of why?

One of Pope Francis’ most recent writings implored Christians not to be such “sour pusses.” The literal translation from the Italian worded document I believe was “pickle face.” I’m guessing that Francis has a reasonable amount of scripture and spiritual insight to back up this appeal. So why not take a little inspiration from this invitation to self-examine where each of us lays on the “pickle face scale,” including of course, while at work? (For those of you who appreciate a more secular view, there is plenty of science that connects with the benefits of seeking and finding joy).

Have an honest look around you. Do you see and hear people laughing a lot? Now laughter is not the only measure of joy, or antidote to being a “pickle face,” but it’s a pretty darn good indicator. Peter Bregman, a psychologist who regularly publishes Harvard Business Review blogs, notes the following: “We aren’t laughing anymore because we aren’t fully present anymore. Physically we’re in one place but mentally, we’re all over the place. Think about some recent phone conversations you’ve had — and then consider what else you were doing at the same time. Were you surfing the web? Reading and deleting emails? Shooting off a text? Sorting through mail? Or maybe you were thinking about any number of problems — a renovation, a recent argument, a never-ending to-do list — unrelated to the topic at hand. Unfortunately, being fully present in the moment has become a casualty of our too full and harried lives.”

I have blogged about the importance of having fun at work before. But self-examining conscious “pickle face status,” is a little different.

Character Moves:

Give yourself a “pickle face rating.” Self-examine how much joy is in your life at work. Do you flow through the day genuinely communicating joy? Smiling when you greet others? Laughing a lot? If yes, keep doing it! If not, seriously ask yourself why not?
Use improved presence to connect with others and also to find the laughter waiting for you in the moment. It’s there for your discovery. Meetings and other business transactions are of course serious investments and they require discipline to ensure results are achieved. However, unless the situation is life threatening, there has got to be a reason to have a laugh. Do you during daily encounters at work? How often?
Do people seem attracted to you? Do people at all levels like to be around you, even in tough situations? If so, it is likely that one reason, in addition to having confidence in your abilities, is because you give out a positive joy vibe. If they distance themselves, it might be because of “Three P’s,” “PICKLE,” “(Sour) PUSSES” and “PRICKLY.” Don’t be “that guy.”

Pickle Face Free in The Triangle,

Lorne

A FREE Gift that Lasts Forever!

Accountability Gratitude

Key Point: Each one of us has the “funds” to give the very best gift of all. It takes a little thought and care, but it is everlasting. So, what is it?

This week I met with middle school (junior high) students I taught more than 40 years ago and we reminisced on the “magical” culture the students and faculty built.

We shared stories and the positive influences we have had on each other’s lives. Coincidently that same evening, I spent time catching up with a person I’ve known and worked with for more than 20 years. We talked about family, friends and business strategy. We also thanked each other for the positive influences we’ve had on one another.

For most of my work life I’ve sent DWD (Darn Well Done) messages to people I’ve worked with, thanking them with specificity for their contribution. I am dumbfounded by the number of times people have positively referred to that DWD I sent them, (often, many years after the incident).

Back to my students from 40 years ago… Some of them were in the gymnasium the last day of school, June 1975, and my final day at St. Nicks. Those of you who have read my book The Character Triangle know the story… Several hundred kids stood on their chairs and cheered wildly for what seemed like eternity, as a tribute to what WE collectively built. Now 40 plus years later, here were some of the “kids” who stood on those chairs, telling me and each other again how much caring for each other made an everlasting difference. The simple gift of an intentional “thank you” because we deeply care keeps on giving… And it appreciates over time.

Character Moves:

This holiday season; connect with someone at work (past or present) who has made a positive difference to you. The free gift is to intentionally thank them in some way. If given sincerely, specifically with intent, it will never be repurposed or recycled by the receiver. In fact, I bet the receiver finds the gift priceless.
One of the students I reconnected with remembers that she was one of the first of the kids to stand on a chair that June day in 1975. If she hadn’t, I likely would be without one of the most wonderful gifts in my life. If you think someone or some situation is worth it, don’t be hesitant to “stand on a chair” and cheer in some memorable way.
The free gift I noted above, is telling someone with clear, direct, intent, that you appreciate the positive influence they have had on your life/work. You certainly don’t need to “stand on a chair.” Just stand up and tell them how much they mean to you. It is free, yet priceless and everlasting.

A priceless “thank you” in The Triangle,

Lorne

Grace or a Disgrace at the Holiday Party

Gratitude Organizational culture Respect

Key Point: What would you do? Your company is having a holiday party and you have been asked to say “grace” five minutes before dinner in front of several hundred people. You step up to the microphone and…

Dr. Peter Adler is quoted saying, “the multi-cultural person is someone who is intellectually and emotionally committed to the fundamental unity of all human beings while at the same time recognizes, legitimizes, accepts and appreciates the fundamental differences that lie between people of different cultures.”

A great piece of well-researched work on multiculturalism, The Intercultural Development Continuum, identifies one’s capability to accurately understand and adapt to cultural difference and commonality. The Continuum shows progression from a mono-cultural mind set to an inter-cultural mindset. The journey along The Continuum includes denial, polarization, minimization, acceptance and adaption. After hundreds of thousands of survey results, Canadians and Americans are on average at the minimization stage. In this stage, there is somewhat of a declared orientation that highlights cultural commonality and universal values, but it also masks the ability to achieve deeper recognition and appreciation of cultural differences. In some ways, this is a limitation to the thought that, “people are just people,” and essentially the same.

Adaptation, the highest level of orientation, is the capability to shift perspective and change behavior in culturally appropriate and authentic ways. This does not mean giving up on one’s heritage or beliefs, but having the authentic ability to adapt, bridge, and really see matters through the eyes of others versus accepting the differences of others through your own eyes. It takes INTENTION and PRACTICE to develop into the adaptive orientation. Most people think they are further along The Continuum than they really are.

Back to the “grace” request above… A lot of people, not very far along the cultural competence journey, might think or say… “This is a Christian country. Instead of a Holiday Party, lets call it a Christmas party… The Lord’s Prayer would the appropriate ‘grace.’” I wonder how the employees who are Jews, Muslim, Hindu, etc. in attendance might feel about this perspective?

Character Moves:

Emotional Intelligence is based on excellent self-awareness of oneself and compassion towards others. Spiritual Intelligence, based on the wonderful work of Cindy Wigglesworth and others, involves deep self-awareness and the ability to authentically bridge and adapt to the varied views. Know where you are on your Intercultural development. Learn more here.
Once you know where you stand on The Continuum, go on an Intercultural “study trip” by participating in the everyday encounters with people from other cultures in more authentic adaptive ways. Put yourself inter-culturally out there and enjoy the growth that travels with you. Go to that ethnic restaurant, view that foreign film and find out what you can learn through the eyes of others.
Remember that being inter-culturally authentic also means applying moral, or ethical judgments of others by better understanding what a cultural practice represents in a different community. The ability to be inter-culturally component is another important step in the respect continuum of The Character Triangle.

Inter-culturally competent in The Triangle,

Lorne

Playing Leadership ‘Small Ball’ to Win!

Abundance Gratitude Personal leadership

Key Point: Perhaps people spend too much time looking exclusively for the big wins to advance their careers. Certainly, exposure and a proven reputation for achieving great results are important and ultimately necessary for career progression. However, so many people have their head on a swivel looking for that big hit or connection that they might not give sufficient attention to the many little things that differentiate themselves on value. In baseball, the equivalent is playing “small ball,” concentrating on doing all the basics versus mostly trying hit the home run.

I recently read comments from two married couples celebrating 81 and 88 years of marriage (Yup, no typo… More than 80 years living with the same person) :). While no one really knows the formulae for marriage success these days, one common thing in these two relationships was “playing marriage small ball,” attending to the respectful little things between each other.

I believe the same opportunity applies to leadership. People may not give doing little stuff the attention required. It’s like an athlete that doesn’t fully compete until the whistle blows, finish line crossed, or practice ends etc. The last few minutes or steps of any process are often most important, and for some reason (usually mental), we pull back or step out rather than up. Let me give you a few very practical examples:

1. You come home tired and you haven’t given anyone recognition for a few days, but instead of hitting the couch, you take time to write out three recognitions.

2. You are going to a company holiday party and you know how much energy it takes to be present. You want to rest on the taxi ride to the event, but you take out the email and go through everyone’s names again.

3. You know how important it is to acknowledge people personally… You see an article in a newspaper that could be very valuable to a colleague…it’s a distraction to your Sunday reading, but you find the link, and forward it to them… Etc, etc… All just wee examples of “playing leadership small ball.”

Character Moves:

Ask yourself how good you are at leadership “small ball?” Are you always looking to add just a little more value without expecting reciprocation? Or do you find that too mentally exhausting? Why?
If you think it’s of use, consider playing just a little more “small ball” in your business and personal life. I’m not talking about anything too obsessive but just a few more things to finish the “daily game” on a high note. Finish strong. Identify five or six practical examples for yourself and just do it.
Remember not to expect anything in return. Be a “giver” not a “matcher,” as Adam Grant advises. Enjoy the satisfaction of adding more value to other people every day in little ways too. Like I say, “you’re worth it.”

Playing small ball in The Triangle,

Lorne