Key Point: The indescribable hurt we feel from the horrific shooting at the Newtown, Conn. school this week is palpable. Sometimes “enough” really becomes “enough.” Americans, and to various degrees, the rest of the world, must have a crucial conversation about the devastating relationship between mental illness and assault weapons. We cannot close our eyes and hope “it” goes away. We know this is going to happen again and again if we do not allow ourselves to discuss the situation, with a meaningful path of action towards a more acceptable future state.
What can you and I do? What is in our control? At the most basic level, the one thing we can do is set an example by learning and practicing the skills required to participate in conversations when the stakes are high. We have the tools and knowledge, but it also means possessing the will and respect to be open to the possibility that it’s not just “my way or the highway.” We have to be open to the prospect of other views and paths suggesting a better way.
Character Moves:
- Recognize your worldview is only one. We consciously or subconsciously filter what we see based on our deeply held beliefs. At best, this anchors us. At worst, it closes our minds to possibilities and promotes intellectual dishonesty. This kind of ignorance has contributed to much of our inhumanity. As an example, a movie like Spielberg’s Lincoln, gives us a window into how much we gave to change views on slavery.
- Commit yourself to learning and practicing how to manage crucial conversations. There are numerous very good models for doing this. Check this out as an example. This is not about how you can learn to convince another person that your view is right, it is about mutually finding a better way to a more desirable state.
- Learn how to apply this at home and work first. If we can all get better on a “local” level, perhaps we can increase our ability to effectively have crucial conversations on a broader scale. The alternative is to allow the unacceptable to repeat. If we allow that to happen, it’s because we do not have the will, focus and competence to change it for the best. And that is definitely living without character.
Inspired by little angels in The Triangle,
Lorne