The Perfect Gift For All… No Returns Required

Abundance Kindness Well-being

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Key Point: Our Character Triangle fans know that ABUNDANCE is one of the big three values we emphasize. When I wrote the book (almost 7 years ago now), it was the least understood and appreciated of the three (Self-Accountability and Respect being the other two). Now thanks to people like Peter Diamandis, and other high profile thinkers well beyond my capability, ABUNDANCE has risen to the top of the value “hit parade”  This noun comes to us from the mid-14th century French, via the Latin abundantia, meaning “fullness, plenty.” Rather than a noun, I think it is most powerful as a verb. To make it more accessible in daily life and especially when many of us are in a somewhat reflective mood this time of the year, I’ve presented a few underlying ways of thinking/acting that support a mindset of abundance. And I think these precepts are more than that mind-numbing, self-help pablum.

  1. Begin from a place of generosity/giving/love rather than a place of lack. If you’re inviting abundance in order to feel more worthy of love, attention, or approval, and the energy behind the intention is LACK or scarcity, it will likely and somewhat counterintuitively attract more of the same.
  2. Consider and even practice non-attachment. Recognize and know that you have what you mostly need, no matter what you receive. Understand that attachment repels abundance while reasoned detachment seems to attract. This does not mean acting with detachment as much as not feeling possessive. Everything material ends one day. By the way, this thinking is contributing to the shared economy. Eg Uber, Airbnb, etc.
  3. Know how to accept. People who consciously create their lives understand that there are no extra or missing pieces in the moment. Accept that everything that is happening contributes to your continued growth and evolution. This does not mean it’s easy or that we have to like our current circumstances. What we chose to do about it is what counts most.
  4. Put yourself in surroundings that are positive. People who manifest abundance make conscious decisions to surround themselves with others who see the world as abundant rather than people who see the world through the lens of lacking. Get out of toxic places and do not waste your precious time hanging out with negative people. They have to fix themselves. You cannot fix others and yet you can still love them. However, the self-guilt to keep poisoning yourself is not right.
  5. Know the difference between inspired and fear-based action. We tend to run away from things that scare us. Inspiration attracts, so if you want to attract abundance, allow your actions to be driven by inspiration and purpose rather than fear. Understand that fear-based action repels while inspired, purposeful action attract abundance. Have the courage to take reasoned risks. Do and try things. Fail, get up and do more stuff. Experiment and keep moving forward.
  6. Interrupt old money patterns and recognize money is the means, not the end. Did you learn any stories about money growing up? “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” “The love of money is the root of all evil.” “Money changes people.” “You have to work hard to make money.” Etc. There may be some truth in all those crazy sayings. But having an abundance mindset is NOT about money being our purpose. Ironically, when we chose and live with clarity of purpose, inspiration and generosity, enough money seems to find its way to us. I’ve found that people who talk about money all the time never have enough. They mostly live in lack, scarcity and fear (and complain a lot).
  7. Learn how to give more without expecting reciprocity. Just give because YOU want to, NOT because you are expecting some response or thing in return.  If you do, you will likely be disappointed. People most appreciate our genuine presence, care, compassion and listening. And we can never run out of these. Just give more of yourself. You’re worth it. So are the ones you love.

I’m obviously not naive to the extra challenges related to “Black Swan” events like war or natural disasters. When we are in pure survival mode, our abundance mindset gets assaulted. However, incredible people like Victor Frankl taught us so much from horrifying experiences like Auschwitz (read Man’s Search for Meaning). So there is a compelling argument for abundance in any environment.

Personal Leadership Moves:

  1. On Christmas Day, regardless of one’s beliefs, it just seems right to me that we all get to unwrap, gift and re-gift ABUNDANCE. It sweetly keeps giving everyday, and never needs to be returned. No receipt or tracking number required.

Abundance in the Triangle,

– Lorne

One Millennial View: I too was fairly new to the concept of Abundance when the Character Triangle was first written, but now it’s the trait I too find most valuable and “telling” regarding character. From a Millennial perspective, Abundance can even be found in text messaging culture. Send people in your life texts because you want to, not because you need or expect a the perfect response.

– Garrett

Edited and published by Garrett Rubis

Just Breathe!

Abundance Happiness Well-being

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Key Point: I’m using this very cool brainwave headband/application brain technology (I ran into at Singularity University,) called Muse! Why? Keep reading.

We are progressing way beyond the idea that meditation is new age hocus pocus. I don’t know one serious leader who isn’t at least thinking about mindfulness/meditation/breathing, and most likely at the very minimum, experimenting. As I’ve written before, this must be humorously entertaining to those of traditional cultures who have been practicing meditation for eons. Now, new research regarding the benefits of breathing/meditation is plentiful. And a recent article by Moran Cerf reports that breathing actuality changes the brain:

“Breathing is traditionally thought of as an automatic process driven by the brainstem—the part of the brain controlling such life-sustaining functions as heartbeat and sleeping patterns. But new and unique research, involving recordings made directly from within the brains of humans undergoing neurosurgery, shows that breathing can also change your brain. Simply put, changes in breathing—for example, breathing at different paces or paying careful attention to the breaths—were shown to engage different parts of the brain…

The research findings show that the advice to ‘take a deep breath’ may not just be a cliché. Exercises involving volitional breathing appear to alter the connectivity between parts of the brain.”

Holotropic Breathwork is also gaining traction. It is an approach to self-exploration and healing that integrates insights from modern consciousness research, anthropology, various depth psychologies, and transpersonal psychology. It’s a combination of meditation and breathing techniques and something interesting is emerging in this category.

Of course, some fitness gurus also rely on breathing techniques to contribute to their fitness strategy and overall promotion of well being. Wim Hof is one guy getting a lot of attention in this area, and getting amazing results with people by applying a very unique breathing/meditation practice integral to his fitness framework. Learn more about the “Iceman” from a previous blog I wrote.

Back to the Muse. I have tried to do meditation on my own, and discovered that I could benefit from a personal meditation assistant to keep me motivated and disciplined. I found that assistant in this brain technology. It guides one to a calm mind. My readers know that I am not in the business of promoting any product, and I have no commercial arrangements with any. However, the Muse is so helpful because it uses brain sensing technology to measure whether your mind is calm or active and translates those signals into guiding sounds. I will keep you posted on the personal results I’m getting. I’m also looking into applying Wim Hof’s breathing/cold/fitness program.

Personal Leadership Moves:

  1. Everyone of us (scientifically proven), can benefit from calming the mind through meditation/breathing techniques. Start your meditation/breathing practice ASAP. If you need a little help, try an app like Headspace, or perhaps if you need a little more assistance, try Muse. 
  2. Explore the benefit of various breathing techniques as they relate to fitness including the Wim Hof method. It’s more than a bunch of bologna.
  3. Also explore the use of “cold” therapy, highly touted by smart and impactful people like Tony Robbins and Tim Ferriss, who plunge into very cold pools with regularity. So do world class athletes. (Geez, for those of us that are Canadians this seems like psychological terrorism, haha).

Just breathe (perhaps in the cold) in personal leadership,

Lorne

One Millennial View: Yeah, “brain stacks” are certainly hot (and cold) right now. I’ve heard all about Bulletproof coffee, MCT oil, Alphabrain, probiotics, cryotherapy, Wim Hof’s cold breathing methods and some of these other methods that might have some real merit… Some others (like micro-dosing), could be problematic. One thing’s for sure, meditation is by far the most cost friendly.

– Garrett

Edited and published by Garrett Rubis

Make Me Rich or Die Trying!

Accountability Productivity Well-being

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Key Point: “9 to 5 is for the weak.” That is the slogan on a popular t-shirt. And my recent three-week vacation gave me a little white space to reflect on how people, including me, use their precious 24 daily hours. It’s duly noted that some people like “Crush It” guru, Gary Vaynerchuk, tells his disciples of hustle; that if they want the “bling,’ they should work 18-hours a day, continuously. And of course Silicon Valley and every other startup/venture driven “valley” anywhere, inspires much of that thinking and behavior; sometimes to a ridiculous degree. Uber competitor, Lyft, posted a blog bragging how one of their drivers went into labor and kept picking up rides on the way to the hospital. After considerable criticism, Lyft pulled down the post. Hustle and good judgment are not necessarily related. 

Chinese start-ups are now becoming notorious for outworking start-ups in other cultures. It’s about working all-in, every day, including weekends for most new Chinese ventures. This start-up reality is even impacting national strategies. The new French president, Emmanuel Macron, has vowed to take on the country’s infamous labor code (the 3324 page, Code du Travail), in order to spark more globally competitive ventures in France. And much of their work force is pushing back.

On the other hand, counter to this obsessive “grind it up” thinking, are successful companies like Basecamp, where workweeks are capped at 40 hours and reduced to 32 in the summer. The founders are publishing a second book celebrating their company culture, entitled the “Calm Company.” And there is much research that questions real productivity gains after 50 to 60 hours of weekly work. So what does this all mean?

My genuine belief is that there is no wrong or right answer to this debate. 9-to-5 is irrelevant to being weak or strong. If “bling,” or some other purpose/outcome turns you on, then be prepared to out grind and outhustle; and recognize that giving up vacations, sleep, relationships is a conscious decision. Choices are made. No complaints or whining with the consequences. Contrary to most pop culture B.S., one usually can’t have it all at the same time. Also, if you want a more integrated work/non-work experience, then that’s cool too (and also possible in both start-up and more traditional environments). Of course, at different stages of life, sometimes fate matches us up for the pace and focus that works for us at that very time. It’s recommended not to judge others through our unique filters.

Character Moves:

  1. Think about how much you are living and working the way you want to right now. Is your pace and focus right for you? Or are you just in a pattern and let the rapids take you along? Consciously choose your 24 precious hours.
  2. One way or another, do not do what you’re doing to essentially/exclusively make someone else rich (or whatever) at your personal expense. I believe that is when we really lose our way; giving up everything we truly value, without getting the mental and financial equity we deserve. 

Just working in The Triangle,

Lorne 

One Millennial View: I too do not believe there’s a right or wrong answer for this, and it’s also a reason why this blog talks a lot more about putting in value than specific amounts of time. We know long hours certainly don’t guarantee you major financial success (just ask a nurse or fireman). I guess all we can do is produce the best work we can, and pay far more attention to our quality of contribution versus eyeing a clock.

– Garrett

Edited and published by Garrett Rubis

Hiking Through the Happiness Fog

Accountability Happiness Well-being

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Key Point: “Mood drives performance.” That’s the deep belief of Jim Moss, a Hall of Fame, gold medal-winning, pro athlete who in 2009 was suddenly rendered acutely paralyzed from a rare autoimmune disease. It is a well-documented story, recounted in numerous publications. With the possibility of living the rest of life in a vegetative state, Jim hacked his own healing, focused on being grateful and learning the science of mood and performance (neuroplasticity). He walked out of the hospital six weeks later. Inspired and profoundly motivated by this experience, Moss went on with his partner Jennifer to co-found Plasticity Labs. Their Massive Transformative Purpose (MTP) is to give one billion people the tools to live a happier, healthier and high-performing life; to scale happiness globally, by building the first ever, mental health and happiness platform

So what is happiness? As Jennifer Moss, co-founder of Plasticity notes in a recent blog: “I still don’t know. But I believe it can be experienced. Like fog, it’s around us. We can see it. But, when we try to hold on to it – it slips through our fingers. Happiness is about a continued investment in building hope, efficacy, resilience, optimism (HERO), along with gratitude, mindfulness, and empathy. As we dig deeper into the ways we can build up more psychological fitness, we’ll analyze how to build up these traits in ourselves and inspire them in others. For many, happiness means the absence of negative emotions, but in the article, I wrote for Harvard Business Review, ‘Happiness Isn’t the Absence of Negative Emotions;’ I vehemently counteract the belief that being happy is only to feel joy, every minute, every day, all the time. I wrote the article to share my frustrations with the backlash on the Positive Psychology movement. After reading one too many articles about why happiness is harmful, I decided it was time to confront the naysayers. But what I believe about this brief history of happiness, is that it’s not about chasing pleasure, but rather, actively engaging in long-term, sustainable life goals that include daily investments in positive work, activities and relationships. However, I liken models to recipes – it’s subjective and rife with human variables built on strongly held biases, genetics and personal experience. Just like a recipe can’t guarantee your bread will rise, a happiness theory can’t guarantee you will be happy.”

So what? I work for a company that believes “good things happen when you pursue happiness.” It is an essential part of our purpose: To create happiness. So, I’m deeply interested in how the happiness science and research is evolving. I do like the way Jennifer Moss and Plasticity Labs are focusing on the HERO model; Hope, Efficacy, Resilience and Optimism; connected to gratitude, mindfulness, and empathy. Their view is that by concentrating on the traits of the model versus happiness itself, it results in the state of happiness being more present and accessible in our lives.

Character Moves:

1. Check out Plasticity Labs (note: I currently have no personal contacts or financial involvement with Plasticity Labs). I’m just very curious and supportive of their MTP; and perhaps you are too? They have great resources and research literature on happiness. And their research reinforces that measurably happy, high-performing workplace cultures earn up to 50 percent more revenue, and have the uppermost levels of both employee and customer satisfaction.

2. Happiness is elusive. We are very early days in the science, although in 425 B.C., the Greek philosopher, Socrates, famously made a statement about happiness: “Strive for honesty, be your best self and have emotional control.” Socrates was one of the first to openly debate that happiness is in our control. Of course, he was also sentenced to death for corrupting the youth with this belief. So the pursuit of happiness has its detractors. How genuinely happy are you? I’m honestly not sure how happy I truly am, and am working to better understand the meaning both as a noun and verb.

Happy Fog in The Triangle,

Lorne

One Millennial View: I wasn’t positive about this, but yup, one little Google search reveals that us Millennials know a whole lot about antidepressants. This Fortune article suggests we may be the “least stable generation on record.” Great! But it’s not hard to check Facebook and realize it’s a world where micro aggressions cause daily outrage, and some of our highest satisfaction comes from a “like” button after sharing topics that get us up in arms. Uh oh. (Meanwhile, it’s the safest, most free and best time to be alive in history) and we have things like Plasticity Labs to assist our happiness. It might be complicated, but in 2017 I think happiness has never been more achievable with the right mindset. As Jocko Willink would say, “get it.”

– Garrett

Edited and published by Garrett Rubis

Feeling Lonely at Work

Accountability Organizational culture Well-being

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Key Point: Too many darn people are just lonely at work. The most advanced cultures in organizations are making intentional strides in promoting, measuring, and achieving a much more inclusive environment. This strategy comes from the deep belief that everyone belongs and matters (unless they continuously clash with the organization’s values). When everyone matters and belongs, each person maximizes personal contribution. This workplace philosophy goes way beyond implementing diversity and identity representation. It also extends well beyond respectfully listening to all others. In my view, complete inclusion in our workplace is a leadership priority and involves the conscious commitment to also defeat workplace loneliness and isolation. I find it unacceptable and ironic that organizations now have all the tools of technology, social media and collaboration platforms yet we find too many people lonely at work. And this loneliness is having a material negative impact on employee’s physical/mental health resulting in increased workplace disability. According to the Campaign to End Loneliness, studies have linked social isolation to health outcomes such as high blood pressure and obesity, and lonely individuals have also been found to be more prone to depression and suicide.

Social isolation involves a lack of social interaction, contact or meaningful communication with other people. Socially isolated people also tend to have a lack of significant social networks such as family and friends, and hence may not see or talk to other people very often. Social isolation is the first cousin of loneliness. However, lets not confuse loneliness with being alone. Many of us are perfectly content when alone, and solitude is not necessarily linked to loneliness. Loneliness is a feeling of not having one’s social needs met, feeling isolated or feeling alone in a negative way. It is possible to be surrounded by people and have a lot of social interaction and still feel lonely, perhaps because these interactions are low in quality and/or do not lead to feelings of being understood or cared for. 

We need to recognize the signs of workplace loneliness or social isolation. And although there is somewhat of a personal self-accountability for people to want to become engaged and connected, most people do not make the conscious choice to disconnect or become isolated. It often happens like the proverbial frog sitting in turned up heat. Bit by bit, increased lethargy in contributing proactively in work conversation, decreased motivation in seeking companionship, and eventually there is more and more withdrawal. Loneliness and social isolation increases at work and often extends into personal life as well; and vice versa.

Let’s look after and commit to loving each other at work! Yes… That “LOVE” word is about what’s important in life, and what’s important in life is a sense of belonging, being significant, valued and appreciated for our unique imperfect selves.

Character Moves:

  1. If you’re a leader it’s your job to include, nurture, grow and develop your team. If anyone becomes socially isolated, you have a part to play in that.
  2. If you’re a teammate, get to know and include your colleagues. Accept their unique, imperfect selves and connect at a personal level. 
  3. If you’re feeling lonely and socially isolated, regardless of how hard and counterintuitive, reach out and give to someone else. However small of a step, extend and become a contributor. And know it’s more than ok to talk to a professional. If your employer has an employee assistance program, use it. If not, join that church group or others. They have a place for you. 

Included in The Triangle,

– Lorne

One Millennial View: I work strange hours (5 a.m. to 1 p.m.), and let’s just say that doesn’t bode well to out-of-work socializing. 1 p.m. is not happy hour, and we all have other stuff to do for the rest of the day. A self-proclaimed introverted comic that makes me laugh recently had a bit on “happy hour” and his dislike of it, with the punch line: “We’re done here. Let’s go home!” But truthfully, being able to socialize and grab a drink with clients, customers, co-workers or anyone at work, is a privilege many of us don’t have. If that’s a work perk of yours, don’t take it for granted. 

– Garrett

Edited and published by Garrett Rubis

Calm is Contagious

Abundance Resilience Well-being

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Key Point: I think all people in leadership roles could benefit from training as biathletes. Why? Because learning how to become calm in stressful situations is contagious. I like the way Tom Weede, a former editor of Men’s Fitness, describes being a biathlete: “A man with an Anschutz .22-caliber rifle slung securely across his back swiftly cross-country skies through rugged Alpine terrain, churning his legs forward and back as fast as he can, his heart rate pounding out 200 beats per minute. Suddenly, he pulls up, unslings his weapon, and in the space of a few seconds, slows his heart enough to steady his hands and mind and take aim at a tiny, unsuspecting target 50 meters away. He fires rapidly several times, the bullets tearing into their mark. His objective realized, he immediately takes off again, quickly pushing the lactic-acid levels in his legs back up to dangerously critical levels.”

These superb athletes can lower their heart rate from 200 beats per minute to 50 beats or less in about 20 seconds. They can get calm, literally on command. 

Former SEALS commander Rorke T. Denver knows something about being calm in positions of leadership. The former 13-year Navy SEAL claims the best leadership lesson learned in military training was simple: “Calm is contagious.” As a keynote speaker, according to an article in Business Insider“Denver tells the story of his final training exercise as a Navy SEAL, where students in training have to plan, organize and execute a mission all ‘under the watchful eye of the lunatic Navy SEAL instructor.’ His team was behind the clock, and they were in trouble. He recounts how his ranking officer (also a student in training) was ‘screaming his head off like the Tasmanian devil… The fevered pitch level of everyone’s behavior was just unsustainable.’ Amidst the chaos, the master chief petty officer, the senior ranking enlisted man in the United States Navy — who Denver said is out of central casting and a basic training “god” — came over and told all the officers to gather. His commanding message to the Seal officers in training, according to Commander Denver, was as follows: 

‘As officers, at a minimum, the boys are going to mimic your behavior. In our line of work, based on our personalities, they’re probably going to amplify your behavior, and athletes are the exact same way. As leaders, as captains, as officers, if you keep your head, they’ll keep their head. If you keep it together, they’ll keep it together. And if you lose it, they’ll lose it.’ So I’m going to share with you the best thing I learned as a master chief when I was a new guy from a master chief in Vietnam: Calm is contagious.’ And as he walked away, Commander Denver heard him say, ‘Because if you keep your head in our line of work, you keep your head!’ Denver emphasizes that this advice can be applied to any leadership situation. ‘You can supplant any word you want for ‘calm’ — chaos is contagious, panic is contagious, stupid 100% is contagious,’ he said. ‘So we like ‘calm’ because it lets you keep your head, it keeps you focused on the mission at hand.’”

I really resonate with Denver’s message and want to combine it with the lessons learned from high performing athletes. Under stress, we need to clam our mind and lower our heart rate to put teams and ourselves in a position to win; to stay focused on the mission at hand. Too often I see leaders (and I have been susceptible to this as well), creating more of an environment of chaos versus calm. Yes, we want a winning pace, sense of urgency, and top-notch results. However, uncontrolled speed, or a sense of panic, gets in the way of a winning outcome. The following guidelines can help.

Character Moves:

  1. Learn your stress/panic triggers and how to control your heart rate and breathing to help you “calm down.” One needs to know when to, “Pause, concentrate our breathing for four seconds, and then course correct.” That’s the advice of highly respected author and psychologist Peter Bregman in his book “Four Seconds.” Yup, according to Bregman’s research, we can get in a better, calmer zone in just four seconds if we pause and breathe.
  1. Be aware of your pace and the impact. Like the biathlete, there is the time to sprint and time to slow right down to hit your targets. The correct balance is the key to winning. Go out too fast and you exhaust yourself… Go too slow and you never get across the finish line, or end up last.
  1. Timing is everything, of course, but often the ability to use humor is exactly what you and your team needs. The great calming effect of a laugh helps the team focus on purpose, and reinforces the belief that it’s “going to be OK!”

Calm in the Triangle,

Lorne

One Millennial View: I’ve brought up the “Sunday Scaries” before. It’s a very “Millennial” thing. Check out this link to the tongue-and-cheek examination of this phenomenon where users send pictures of their “Sunday Scaries Panic Rooms.” (On Sunday nights, Millennials convert their living spaces into “panic rooms,” which is equally eye-roll and smile inducing). It’s funny because of its ridiculousness, but it’s a real thing! Many console their dread with food, wine, coconut water, premium television, fireplaces, the company of pets, scented candles, and much more; all to calm the storm of tackling the next week (clearly no one is truly in panic). By laughing at and sharing these overreactions, Millennials get a sense of calm… For us, that’s contagious.

– Garrett

Edited and published by Garrett Rubis