Courage | Lorne Rubis

Do You DWOP?

Key Point: Having an aspirational dream is sometimes more powerful than thinking about conquering someone or something. And stepping back, recharging while focusing on a strategic approach is often more productive than just charging ahead, hoping for the best.

You may have heard or read about the recent remarkable feat of climbers Kevin Jorgeson and Tommy Caldwell. The two finished a 19-day, 3,000-foot (915-meter) ascent of the Dawn Wall on El Capitan in California’s Yosemite National Park. Many experts consider this to be the toughest free climb ever completed. Free climbing means that Caldwell and Jorgeson only used their hands and feet to ascend, and applied ropes only for protection from falling. (See pictures of their adventure up the Dawn Wall on El Capitan… Yikes). The climb included 32 pitches in total, and seven of these pitches (about the length of a climbing rope, or 60-70 meters) were rated 5.14 difficulty (on a scale from 5.5 to 5.15). A single 5.14 climb is a once in a lifetime accomplishment for the most expert climbers, and completing seven such pitches in a single push up a route makes the feat a legendary story.

Jorgeson posted during the climb: “This is not an effort to conquer. It’s about realizing a dream.” Once Jorgeson and Caldwell had set the dream of free climbing the Dawn Wall, they began to prepare. They scouted the routes. They practiced the different pitches repeatedly. They trained to build the strength and endurance needed. Planning that dream took SEVEN years of comprehensive training with every detail in mind.

Achieving a dream is usually a test of perseverance even with the best intent, focus and preparation. Despite all the “blueprints” pre-drawn for the ascent, Jorgeson really struggled to complete pitch 15. This was a section of rock where he had to climb laterally between two vertical pitches. He failed 10 times before completing it. It took him seven days. This didn’t involve returning to The Four Seasons for a pillowy rest every night. Caldwell and Jorgeson were sleeping in tents attached to the wall hundreds of meters off the ground. Jorgeson’s determination to overcome this challenge is truly inspirational.

Character Moves:

What are your dreams? It is ok to take the time to clarify and be intentional. Sometimes it’s very specific, like climbing the most daunting rock face in the world. Other times, it is driven more by purpose or a life defined by making a contribution to others. Dreams can be modest or huge. Most importantly, your dream is exclusively yours!
For most of us the road to achieving our dreams involves what often appears to be insurmountable challenges. Yet, I’ve come to appreciate that it’s these challenges that really define us. Rather than just whipping and exhorting ourselves to try harder, remember that the best approach may be to step back, rest, recover, regenerate and respond to the challenge strategically. Often people choose to react or avoid, and it’s amazing how avoidance, inertia and fear based paralysis can turn into weeks, months and years.
While inertia is useless, it is interesting to note that the two climbers were putting as much attention and focus into their recovery and regeneration as they were into their climbing. Do the same. This is a lesson I would have liked to have learned earlier in my life. Take the time to rest, regenerate and THINK through a plan. So, now do you know what a DWOP is? It’s a “Dream Without a Plan.”

Climbing with a plan in The Triangle,

Lorne

One Millennial View: It’s sometimes annoying to wrap your mind around the idea that you can’t be “comfortable,” and you need to remain challenged, chasing, growing, “climbing.” Your inner monologue may say, “dude, shut up, I am comfortable, let me be for right now, I’ll figure it out.” Well… When? It sucks, but it’s true, no one is going to do it for you, and tomorrow isn’t going to be “magic.” You have a dream? Perfect. Good. Get it! But it’s nothing without a plan to achieve it. (I’ll be the first to admit my night can consist of pursuing nothing but what’s streaming on Netflix… But! Seriously, we’re burning daylight and if we made a point to take our plans just one step further, scrolling through the movie menu will feel that much more justified).

– Garrett

Edited and published by Garrett Rubis

Does Fear Mean GO or STOP to You?

Accountability Authenticity Courage

Key Point: I’ve referred to my favorite definition of FEAR in the past: “False Expectations Appearing Real.” The best growth opportunities emerge when the “palms of our hands are sweaty.” I’m not talking about the absolute fear that is very real when our personal well-being is at risk. I’m talking about the fear associated with our insecurities and self-doubt. So here is a challenge: When you feel that latter type of fear… Step on the gas and go. What do you really have to lose?

When I was in my early 30’s I facilitated an executive planning session with the entire Dean’s Council of a major university. The best and brightest had this “kid” in front of them, walking them through a strategic session. When I was 18, I remember my first University of Alberta Golden Bears football practice and the gnarly, nasty seniors of the 1967 National Championship team wanting to stick my head deeply back into in my shoulders. In my 60’s, I had that same sweaty feeling doing my first radio interview after my book was published. Speaking in front on hundreds of people evokes the same response. So here’s the deal…I literally have hundreds of these “sweaty palm” examples, regardless of age and setting… And not all have gone perfectly, but you know what? They’ve all gone.

I’m so much better for “jumping in” and putting myself out there. To me, FEAR does mean GO… Not in an unprepared, stupid sense. I promise that nothing was guaranteed in every “risky” situation. But in every case it involved a level of self-authenticity and honesty connected to non-fatal risk. Fear is a great teacher. We really need its lessons to improve, become stronger, and build our self-confidence. This includes “getting back in the saddle” when we get thrown… And we will.

Character Move:

As I was thinking of this blog, I coincidently read Lara Galinsky‘s HBR blog, To Change the World, Fear Means Go, on the exact same topic. Her message really resonated. Especially her recommendations in the first three moves captured below:

Acknowledge you’re afraid. Instead of swallowing or hiding your fear, and pretending you don’t have it, look at it. For instance, if you are continuously avoiding a particular activity or person, have the courage to ask yourself “why?”
Determine what kind of fear it is. Ask yourself: Is this a healthy fear that I need to pay attention to (is there a hungry bear on the path ahead of me)? Or is this a fear rooted in my own insecurities and self-doubts? It can be difficult to tell the difference at times, but if you really want to know the answer, pay close attention to what your gut says.
Acknowledge it as a gift. If it is an insecurity-based fear, it could be one of the most powerful gifts you’ll ever receive. These fears are like a compass. They tell that you need to go towards what scares you.

The next two are mine:

Be really well prepared when you confront that insecurity-based fear. When facing a challenge that really stretches us and hits the fear button, we usually have time to get prepared. For example, if we have a speech in front of a big crowd, we need to test and practice it over and over until we’re ready. The palms are still sweaty but we’re ready to step on stage.
Assume the position. I remember the first time I walked into a meeting with the Chairman of a Fortune 50 Company. I wasn’t arrogant, but I guarantee you that I didn’t walk in there “hat in hand.” I was ready and believed in my value. How could he have confidence in me if he saw FEAR in my eyes? That would have signaled STOP instead of GO!

FEAR means GO in The Triangle,

Lorne

P.S. don’t fear downloading The Character Triangle Companion.

127 Hours of Self Accountability

Accountability Courage Resilience

Some viewers are fainting and/or taking a break from the screening of 127 Hours to regain their composure. Almost all critics are raving about the movie. According to an article on the front page of this Sunday’s LA Times, Director Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire) intended on giving the audience an intense emotional experience to the point where the rooting for climber Aron Ralston, played by James Franco, to survive feels as if our own lives were at stake. He has apparently succeeds and then some.

For those of you unaware of the true story behind the movie, in 2003 Ralston went hiking into the Utah wilderness without telling anyone where he was going and with scant supplies. In an isolated gully his arm became pinned by a falling chockstone. Five days later facing death, Ralston heroically self amputated his arm using a dull multi-purpose tool. This summary is obviously hopelessly incomplete in describing the situation. We likely need to see the movie to better understand this incredible story.

My point is that when we are pinned down and have no “they” to blame or rely on, self accountability as an understood concept becomes crystal clear. Now I’m not suggesting we should go it alone nor do I want to trivialize this situation. But I do wonder what positive things might happen if all of us realized just how much power and ability we have to persevere, to make things better, and to appreciate the resources we have and what we can do.

My intent here is to spotlight an extreme case to make an everyday point. We can do so much when we choose to. None of us want to be tested like Ralston was. Thank goodness we don’t need to be but we can sure learn from him.

I’m looking forward to the movie.

Live the Triangle,

Lorne

The Chilean Miners’ Business

Courage Resilience

None of us really know how we would react under dire circumstances. The answer only comes if fate chooses to put us in such a spot. But we can learn a lot from the actions of others who live to tell the tale. The incredible rescue and survival of the Chilean miners from the San Jose mine is a spotlight on the character of man. Stories that may be somewhat disappointing are likely to emerge at a later date but for now this is what we know:

The miners chose NOT to be victims from the beginning. For 17 days without contact to the outside world they chose to live, to fight, and to move forward.
They worked together as a team, recognizing they each had a role to play in surviving. Imagine the respect for self and others during the 69 days. Anything else would have torn them apart.
They took 2 days worth of food and made it last 17. They chose to focus on what they had, not what they lacked. They had an abundant mind set in the scarcest environment.

The last miner up the rescue capsule, at his insistence, was the shift supervisor Luis Urzua. This man, while I obviously know little about him, likely embodies every element of the Character Triangle. His leadership was symbolized by his last act as shift supervisor. He chose to be first by being last.

While suffocating in total darkness sometimes generates the brightest light, you and I (thankfully) can embody and employ the aspects of self accountability, respect, and abundance daily without the need of a rescue capsule. What we need is the conscious presence and commitment to act that way daily.

Thank you to the Chilean miners and their competent and brave rescue team to remind us who we are and what living with character means.

Live the Triangle,

Lorne

Forgiveness: The Ed Thomas Story

Accountability Community Courage

Ed Thomas was the high school football coach of the Aplington-Parkersburg (Iowa) Falcons. In 2008, Coach Thomas rallied the town of 1800 to overcome a devastating tornado that ripped through the community that June. They played football in the Fall of 2008, against all odds, and went 11 and 1. The Falcons were a conduit for the Aplington-Parkersburg area moving forward to rebuild. Coach Thomas was a key leader in making it happen.

On June 14, 2010 at the ESPY awards, the Thomas family received the Arthur Ashe award for courage. Why? On June 24, 2009, a psychologically disturbed ex-player shot and killed Coach Ed Thomas. This tragedy tore at the fabric of the community. Yet due to the lifetime belief and example of forgiveness set by Ed, the Thomas family led by wife Jan forgave the killer and his family first. She then used the power of forgiveness to move forward. The entire story is very much worth reading.

In this case ordinary people were dragged into an extraordinary situation. But when you learn about Ed Thomas and family, you realize their faith and belief in forgiveness is extraordinary.

If the Thomas family can forgive a man and his family for the killing of their patriarch, can we forgive under less daunting and extreme cases? I think we can. Forgiving is an act of abundance. It is the total opposite of scarcity.

Now to bring it to the workplace: do we have the ability to forgive transgressions that are not about life or death at work? The obvious answer must be yes. So, let’s all work to forgive that one person we’ve been mad at. It is normally an uplifting experience for the forgiver and forgiven. Let’s start now.

And if we want to be inspired about the power of forgiveness, listen to Ed and Jan’s son Aaron Thomas’ acceptance speech at the ESPY Awards. Forgive now. We all win.

Ed Thomas family – first family in the Character Hall of Fame.

with Character,

Lorne

Luck Shines on the Brave

Abundance Courage

Tonight I’ve listened to an interview on the BBC with an SAS soldier. He was one of the Special Forces guys on the famous May 5th hostage rescue in the Iranian embassy in London 30 years ago. He used the term “luck shines on the brave.” He was referring to the fact that a door they had to smash through had not been barricaded by the terrorists. The entire event was watched by the world on broadcast television. Within the narrow boundaries of these horrible situations, it was a success.

Most of us do not live in the dramatic life and death world of a Special Forces soldier, but the phrase I think applies. We have to be brave and “bust through that door” even when we are not completely sure about the other side. We need to take calculated risks. It is part of an abundant perspective. The great news is that it almost never life or death. But going through that door is often a combination of discomfort, learning, and personal growth.

Be abundant. Luck shines on the brave.

with Character,

Lorne