Communication | Lorne Rubis

Nudging People’s Behavior

Key Point: How can you and I change people’s behavior? Well it’s a trick question, because of course; we can’t change people’s behavior. We can only change our own behavior. However, we can help people make better choices and act in ways that lead them toward their desired outcomes.

Victoria Fener is a co-founder of stickK.com, a firm dedicated to applying behavioral economics and related tools for better outcomes. She recently spent some time with our team and shared some important insights.

Fener notes how research shows that people behave in irrationally, but somewhat predictable ways. The following are a few examples:

Default choices, like “opting out” work better than “opting in.” For example, if you wanted permission from people to allow for organ donations, the results are much better if people can intentionally opt out versus intentionally opting in. We are kind of lazy.

Loss aversion is more powerful than the equivalent gain. Most us would take stronger action to avoid losing an already awarded free plane ticket than do something to earn an equivalent new one.

People are less patient as time decreases. Most of us would rather have one sure thing immediately, than more of the same if we waited. This is the “bird in the hand versus two in the bush” idea.

Most of us are more attracted to winning experiences than cash. Research shows more of us would rather buy lotto tickets to win a dream home or safari, than tickets for the cash equivalent.

Framing is a vital component when helping people make choices. For example, if we knew there was a possibility that 600 people would die and we were given two options. A: Saves 200 people, or B: 400 people die. Most of us would choose A. Of course, 400 people die either way, but framing the positive “saving” option is more appealing.

We do better with a head start even when the distance is the same. If we had one of those stamp cards where we get a free drink after buying 10, we would be more likely to use a card requiring 12 drinks but with two free stamps already on it, than one with 10 and no free stamps. Of course, in either case, one has to buy 10 to get a free drink, but we do better with a little success already built in.

We are biased by what we’ve recently seen or heard. If a 20 percent tip option is put in front of us, we are likely to choose that versus tipping at our own discretion. Our mind tricks our body a little when the sub-conscience is influenced, hence subliminal messaging.

All of us design things, and therefore we become architects in impacting choices people make. We are recognizing more and more that information and knowledge alone do not necessarily help us change. Nutrition knowledge and obesity trends validate that. We often know what we should or would like to do, AND still need a nudge. If not, we’d all be skinny with six pack abs.

Character Moves:

Really dig into understanding “what’s really in it for ourselves and the other person” to help us better understand how to help and encourage a desired outcome. Remember, we need to be humble enough to appreciate that knowledge and information does not automatically lead people to better outcomes. Of course understanding “why” is vital, but not necessarily sufficient.

Invest in understanding behavioral economics and recognize the importance of design and choice architecture. Learn how to give people a positive nudge. When we combine knowledge with experience and choice design, then people will be more motivated to change… Including developing new habits. Design intentionality and choice architecture are going to get a lot more attention than they have before. Get ahead of the curve.

Nudging in The Triangle,

One Millennial View: As a Millennial, I’m aware it’s my generation that would be the first to challenge this… “How dare you challenge my behaviors? Where’s my safe space?” Blah blah blah. But really, we all know a million ways we’d like to improve ourselves. It just comes down to whether we’re willing to curb our laziness, selfishness, fears, comfort, routines, etc. in order to walk toward what we know will be a tough, uneasy, unpredictable journey. It’s scary, but this is where that whole “no one told you it would be easy” comes to play. And we could all benefit from a positive nudge.

– Garrett

Never Peters Out!

Accountability Communication Empathy

Key Point: The art and dedication to real listening is under appreciated and still too absent from the workplace (and overall life).

Some leadership “stuff” just needs to be repeated and repeated I guess. The picture below is of 72-year-old leadership sage, Tom Peters.

He has been preaching mostly the same “stuff” since Waterman and he wrote the iconic “In Search of Excellence” in 1982. Why? Well the skeptic might say that he is just riding the skirt of success; like a cash cow, milk it until it’s dried out. However, I genuinely believe Tom passionately speaks about the “stuff” for one main reason: It works and helps people. (He doesn’t need the money, that’s for sure).

One of the focal points that he just drills his audience on, is the eternal challenge of effective LISTENING! To make the point, he notes that it takes exactly 15 seconds on average for a doctor to interrupt you during a visit. The experience is similar in many meetings at work and/or in life. And of course we all know that mobile devices and related distractions make the listening challenge even more daunting.

Virgin founder and celeb CEO, Richard Branson, devotes over 100 pages in his book to this topic. See Peter’s slide below:

Character Moves:

1. Try writing, “LISTEN” on the top of whatever you use to take notes before going into any meeting. Silly? Never mind then.

2. Use a notebook and carry it with you everywhere. (Not a note pad). Branson has hundreds of notebooks. I’m no Branson, obviously, but I’ve used hundreds of books over the years too. I write key points, connect ideas into graphic systems, circle, underline and any number of things to help me listen. I am shocked to see people sitting and “listening” but not taking notes. (I wonder where their mind is? They must have exceptional memories too).

3. Ask active listening questions. Your questions versus comments should be in the range of 10 to one. Use a listening model like STP (See my video) to help you listen.

4. Practice, practice, practice listening.

Forever Listening in The Triangle

Lorne

One Millennial View: When I first started working where I do, I had some co-worker give me directions and I took out a notepad to write them down. He goes “Dude, don’t be a guy that takes notes, just listen.” Frankly, I looked at him like he was out of his mind, but I just shut up, then jotted down the directions once he walked away. His reasoning has never been significant, and of course I take notes in meetings with zero resistance from any higher up. What my co-worker never understood, apparently, is there’s a reason Tom Peters’ lesson is timeless and transcends generations. It’s a good tool with a proven success rate no matter what old school or new school technology you use to write stuff down.

– Garrett

Edited and published by Garrett Rubis

No Zombie Talk

Accountability Communication Personal leadership

Key Point: Learning to be efficient and clear is an exceptionally important skill. It is a necessary gateway to any top-level position. We have to be excellent translators. If you spend any time with high-level boards of directors you may learn this lesson in a painful way. An icy glare from the Chairman when you use precious board time with some comment that adds little to a meeting will have you looking for a cave to hide in. Ouch. If it is not material to the progress of the group’s agenda, shut up.

I’ve been listening more carefully to how much B.S. has infiltrated and clouded our conversations. I detest for example, that we use exclusive words in the human resource community that I find fuzzy at best and confusing at worst. For example, what does “performance driven, talent management and workforce utility ” really mean? (I’ve probably used similar phrases… Geez… What pomposity). I just got a call from a sales person reading off a script inviting me to a conference about leadership and the way he described it had me almost burst out laughing. I thought he was pitching something about advanced physics. No, thanks.

As I get older, the more I value clarity and the elegance of simplicity. The size and complexity of my PowerPoint is often an indication of how much more work I need to make the intent of my message more accessible.

Another peeve is acronyms. People are often shy to ask what the heck they mean. Complexity in communication is such waste! And I have lots more work to do in this area. How about you?

Character Moves:

Sharpen your words and keep practicing.

Allow yourself the time needed to craft an elegantly stated view and paint a vivid picture of your intent. When you say or write it with crystal clarity, your audience will emotionally connect with you.

Listening to be sure you understand their intent is a treasure chest of insight for how to better communicate. Become an expert at learning from the communication style of others.

Less words and more meaning in The Triangle,

Lorne

One Millennial View: I’m fortunate that my field of work preaches this. I’ll never forget my Reporting Public Affairs professor telling me, “Garrett, if anything you write is over 800 words, it better sing.” The myth that length is a sign of intelligence or deeper understanding is not normally true. How’s this? The employee who asks a personal or time wasting question at the end of a department meeting should have to bring in bagels and coffee on Friday morning that week… #NoBagelQuestions2015, let’s start a movement.

– Garrett

Edited and published by Garrett Rubis

Leading with Springboard Stories

Communication Organizational culture Respect

Key Point: The elders of many indigenous tribes would likely smile, perhaps even smirk, at the newfound attention regarding the vital nature of story telling as a necessary trait amongst leaders in modern organizations. Story telling is the essence of behavioral guidance in many cultures. In some they actually refer to the word story as a verb rather than a noun.

Steve Denning is one of the leading experts regarding story telling in organizations. His latest book is The Leader’s Guide to Radical Management. He is also the author of The Leader’s Guide to Storytelling, The Secret Language of Leadership, and a regular blog on Forbes. Denning outlines different types of story telling for different purposes and I would like to highlight what he calls “springboard stories” within the context of sparking action and leading people to a more desirable future state. This is what Denning says:

“Sparking Action.

Leadership is, above all, about getting people to change. To achieve that goal, you need to communicate the sometimes complex nature of the changes required and inspire an often skeptical organization to enthusiastically carry them out. This is the place for what I call a ‘springboard story,’ one that enables listeners to visualize the transformation needed in their circumstances and then to act on that realization. Such a story is based on an actual event, preferably recent enough to seem relevant. It has a single protagonist with whom members of the target audience can identify.

Leading People into the Future.

An important part of a leader’s job is preparing others for what lies ahead, whether in the concrete terms of an actual scenario or the more conceptual terms of a vision. A story can help take listeners from where they are now to where they need to be, by making them comfortable with an image of the future. The problem, of course, lies in crafting a credible narrative about the future when the future is unknowable. Thus, if such stories are to serve their purpose, they should whet listeners’ imaginative appetite about the future without providing detail that will likely turn out to be inaccurate.”

I have just been part of an organization story telling process involving 4,000 plus team members over a short three-month period. This experience reinforced for me that story telling can help develop rich understanding about stated values and how they ideally get translated into daily work. The challenge is to highlight memorable springboard stories, that are powerful enough to spring people into sustainable intentional action. Not all stories do that.

Character Moves:

1. Become more than a leader/storyteller, learn to become a master springboard storyteller. It’s as necessary of a skill in leadership as becoming digitally literate, a superb coach, a relationship builder and results executor. Invest in this skill.

Springboard stories in The Triangle,

Lorne

One Millennial View: There’s no secret to the value of a great story, told with good delivery by a gifted storyteller. (My profession is completely based on the demand for stories). Some may think this is skill reserved for entertainment purposes, a dinner table or some other “recreational” period. But there’s a reason we remember a good joke, or an inspiring tale. It’s the “story” element that keeps it memorable, and gives us the ability to reference it later. We grow up learning through key worded text books, which is just fine. It works. But, in the real world, I’m likely walking away from a meeting involving a “springboard story” with more comprehension, motivation and purpose than if the same message was delivered in bullet points.

– Garrett

Edited and published by Garrett Rubis

Are You MEAN Business?

Communication Kindness Respect

Key Point: How hard is it to be civil? Kind? Really?? What the heck has happened to us? Christine Porath, an associate professor at Georgetown University, wrote an op-ed in The New York Times Sunday Review entitled No Time to Be Nice at Work. I guess we have enough time to behave stupidly at work but not enough to treat each other with respect. The quotes below are from that NYT article, which has caused a stir amongst readers.

What prompted me to write this happened minutes before I sat down to blog. A clerk at a book store (Audrey’s in Edmonton , Alberta) was unfortunately the inspiration. There was literally no one in this downtown location on a Saturday afternoon. My wife (one of the politest people on Earth) wanted to buy a book called The Mosquito Brothers for our 8-year-old grandson. She asked if the store carried it. The reaction of the employee was shocking… “Yes, they had it,” and then she dismissively went about her “business.” Out we went… No book for us, and no sale for her (I guess the retail book business is just too good to bother treating customers well?) Rude people treat employees poorly AND that rolls down to customers. Back to professor Porath’s article:

“People who treat others with disrespect have succeeded despite their incivility, not because of it. Studies by Morgan W. McCall Jr., a professor of management and organization at the University of Southern California, including those with Michael Lombardo, while they were with the Center for Creative Leadership, have shown that the No. 1 characteristic associated with an executive’s failure is an insensitive, abrasive or bullying style… More… Although in surveys people say they are afraid they will not rise in an organization if they are really friendly and helpful, the civil do succeed. My recent studies published in the Journal of Applied Psychology, show that behavior involving politeness and regard for others in the workplace pays off. In a study in a biotechnology company, those seen as civil were twice as likely to be viewed as leaders…” And, Robert M. Sapolsky, a Stanford professor and the author of ‘Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers,’ argues that when people experience intermittent stressors like incivility for too long or too often, their immune systems pay the price. We also may experience major health problems, including cardiovascular disease, cancer, diabetes and ulcers.”

Porath goes on to point out, “Bosses produce demoralized employees through a string of actions: Walking away from a conversation because they lose interest; answering calls in the middle of meetings without leaving the room; openly mocking people by pointing out their flaws or personality quirks in front of others; reminding their subordinates of their ‘role’ in the organization and ‘title’; taking credit for wins, but pointing the finger at others when problems arise. Employees who are harmed by this behavior, instead of sharing ideas or asking for help, hold back.”

Character Moves:

It’s so simple and yet obviously hard because respectful behavior requires both self/external awareness and INTENTION!! Small actions we can all take include listening, smiling, sharing and thanking others more. In one unpublished experiment Porath conducted, a smile and simple thanks (as compared with not doing this) resulted in people being viewed as 27 percent warmer, 13 percent more competent and 22 percent more civil.

The second element of the Character Triangle is RESPECT. It’s not so much about treating others as we want to be treated, but treating others as THEY want to be treated. It may be hard to believe that it’s necessary, but in our organization we are intentionally reacquainting EVERY team member with the skill of how to make a personal emotional connection with others. Don’t assume you or others you work with know and have the skill to do so. Research says many of us have lost our way. It’s NOT time that’s missing, it’s awareness and thoughtful intention that’s been overwhelmed by all the distracting “noise” in our heads. Be RESPECTFUL and really know that you are.

Civility in The Triangle

Lorne

One Millennial View: Not only is it so much EASIER to be nice versus being mean (read: drama avoidance/bridges in tact), it’s most beneficial for you too. Let’s play devil’s advocate and pretend there’s an argument otherwise. If you truly have a tough time justifying being kind, that’s too bad, but let’s pretend you feel challenged to stand your ground and don’t want to seem weak (we have an old blog refuting that btw). Here’s a trick: By being nice, being considerate, being the “bigger person” when you’d otherwise want to be rude, it also makes you come across as the “cool and collected” one, the one “above it” with the confidence and desire to progress further. So you choose, do you want to seem level headed and moving forward? Or is it better to just be known as the “mean person?” I know which one I’d rather work for.

– Garrett

Edited and published by Garrett Rubis

Power of the Painted Picture

Communication Purpose Respect

Key Point: Both people and organizations need a painted picture to guide their future. Vague “vision statements” and/ or bland, generic “purpose statements” are essentially useless and even demotivating. Broad statements like, “We will be the greatest,” “We will be excellent at,” etc. are often a big waste of time and probably meaningless because they are so abstract. They are left completely to personal interpretation and while that may be attractive in art, it is generally counter productive as a visionary, aspirational guide for individuals and institutions.

I recently heard a presentation by the Chief People and Culture Officer of 1-800-Got-Junk?. This incredibly successful company is totally driven by its “Painted Picture.” Over 3,000 employees (Junkies) and thousands of franchise holders are inspired by founder, Brian Scudamore’s, richly outlined corporate “Painted Picture.” Scudamore and his leadership team paint that picture in sensory detail, always looking five years out. And based on that colorful artistry have accomplished over 96 percent of what they have sketched in their always evolving picture. Watch Scudamore’s video for three minutes to get the essence.

We recently engaged a performance coaching company called The Inside Edge to work with select, top performing leaders. This coaching firm is composed of performance sports psychologists that help world-class athletes achieve their peak and ultimately ascend to the “podium.” One of their core development techniques involves IMAGERY. The psychology is that if we can hold a vivid picture of ourselves long and steadily enough, we will be drawn to it. This is based on hard-core science and research. So the Inside Edge emphasizes that great results and living starts with a rich picture held in one’s imagination. However, to be truly compelling, this picture ideally involves every sense. It is much more than words. It includes deep detailing of what one can see, hear, smell, taste and feel. All five senses help people understand that our bodies mostly do not distinguish between what is imagined and real. Imagery, whether we do so consciously or not, literally precedes every action and permeates every thing we do. Therefore, positive images support success while negative images undermine.

Character Moves:

1. To create a compelling and powerfully attractive future, paint a sensual picture of it. You need to find a quiet place and allow yourself to enter a relaxed and mindful space. Allow your imagination to outline what you want your future to look like. Paint every part of that image with every sense. Write it out in comprehensive denial. 140 characters will not do. No Twitter feed in this exercise.

2. Painting pictures that involve all senses are exceptionally valuable for outlining an “end state.” For example, where you want to be three to five years from now. However you can use the same technique to change your current state of being (I’m feeling bummed out today), improving performance (getting ready to make a presentation), or problem solving (pre-playing a challenging scenario).

3. Learn how to paint. Your imagination and beautiful mind is your brush. Be your own Picasso!

Painting Pictures in The Triangle

Lorne

One Millennial View: Sometimes we have to overcome the mental shortcomings of doubting where we’ll be in three to five years. It’s a tough question to answer, because you don’t want your audience to scoff at how unrealistic it may be. Thanks to guys like Scudamore, it encourages everyone, especially Millennials, to understand that no detailed “three to five year” answer is just “junk.”

– Garrett

Edited and published by Garrett Rubis