The Humility Code

Abundance Books Personal leadership

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Key Point: It is both comforting and daunting to embrace the idea that “character” involves a journey. We have the ability and responsibility to develop our personal character. Based on this premise, David Brooks, the highly regarded New York Times pundit and author, has appropriately entitled his recent book, “The Road to Character.”  The prime ingredient on the bumpy path, according to Brooks, is HUMILITY. Towards the end of this thought provoking book, he summarizes what he calls the “Humility Code.”

The Humility Code:

  1. Human beings seek a life of purpose, meaningfulness, righteousness, virtue and NOT just one of pleasure. Life is essentially a moral drama not a hedonistic one. Holiness is a more noble pursuit than happiness.
  1. The road to character begins with an accurate understanding of our nature and recognizing we are flawed creatures. We have a tendency to be self-centered and over confident. However, we are not the center of the universe.
  1. Although we are flawed creatures, we are splendidly endowed. We have been granted the capacity to take on the struggle of personal improvement.
  1. In this epic battle against our weaknesses, our greatest virtue is humility. However, we cannot do it alone and nor are we expected to.
  1. Pride blinds us to our weaknesses and makes us think we are better than we are. Pride drives us to prove that we are better than others and makes it hard to be vulnerable before those whose love we need.
  1. It doesn’t matter whether we work for a hedge fund or charity; there are heroes and schmucks in both worlds. The most important thing is our willingness to engage in the struggle for virtue. After attending to the basic necessities of living, this is our central purpose.
  1. Character is built in the course of confronting our own weaknesses. This involves much more than what others can see us do or hear us say. Constant small acts of caring, giving, and considerate, humble thinking creates the trend in our lives that results in habitual self discipline rather than remaining a slave to our weaknesses.
  1. People of character are capable of staying attached to a calling, purpose and people through the long run. The things that lead us astray, like fear, gluttony, and vanity are short run. Elements like courage, honesty, humility, (and I would add, self-accountability, respect, abundance…) take us on the long road. Humility also comes from the freedom in understanding that our commitment to these virtues cannot be completed in a lifetime. 
  1. No one can achieve self-mastery on his or her own. If we are to progress in the confrontation with ourselves, we must be humble enough to put ourselves in a state to receive the affection of others. We have to draw outside of our selves to cope with the forces inside.
  1. Life for all of us is “U” shaped. We advance, retreat and so on. The redemption always comes in the form of “grace.” When admitting our failure, help comes in many different forms. When we recognize that you and I are unconditionally accepted and we accept what is, the path forward and accompanying gratitude usually arrives.
  1. Defeating our weaknesses includes the ability to quiet ourselves….to mute the sound of our own egos . Only by quieting ourselves will we be open to the external forces that are waiting to help us. 
  1. The humble person accepts that experience is a better teacher than pure reason. Knowledge is not the same as wisdom. Wisdom is knowing how to behave when perfect knowledge is lacking.
  1. If we serve work that is intrinsically compelling and we strive to be excellent at that, we will likely serve both the community and ourselves. This is most often found by looking and understanding what the world is asking of our vocation and us. If we just try to serve ourselves we likely will never be satisfied. If we just try and serve the community, we may wonder if we’re ever appreciated enough. What problem is addressed or value provided by something you intrinsically enjoy? Serve that.
  1. The wise leader is a steward of her or his organization and tries to leave it in better condition than how she or he found it. A sound leader finds the right balance between competing values and goals.
  1. The individual who takes on the personal struggle to become a better human being may not become rich but will become mature. Maturity does not glitter. It is not about becoming better than anyone else or winning. The most important journey, what Brook describes as the “Road to Character,” is about becoming better today than you and I were yesterday.

Character Moves:

  1. Reflecting on Brooks’ 15 elements of his Humility Code is probably daunting enough. The good news in all this, of course, is that we are all flawed and what Brooks describes as perpetual “stumblers.” The beauty and meaning in life is in the stumbling and becoming more graceful as we travel the character road.
  1. The paradox seems to involve taking ourselves out of being the center of everything while being much more personably accountable for being very centered. It is not all about us and yet at the same time, it is. 

Humility in The Triangle

Lorne

One Millennial View: My profession has me immersed in the entertainment industry, writing stories about some of the most lucky, hand-picked, successful, and financially rich individuals on the planet. I see people become jaded over celebrity success constantly. A lot of people die a little inside when they comprehend the fact Kim Kardashian can lay in her mansion and be paid far more than a teacher’s annual salary to Tweet out 140 characters mentioning product placement for a company that will award her five or six figures, but it’s reality. Now, what some celebrities do understand is the power of humility. Take a lesson from Jurassic World’s Chris Pratt, arguably the most sought after newcomer in Hollywood. He’s all about humility, not taking himself too seriously, and his career is being championed because of it. One is cringed at, the other celebrated, but at the end of the day, Pratt’s living conditions aren’t too shabby either.

 – Garrett

Edited and published by Garrett Rubis

Power of the Painted Picture

Communication Purpose Respect

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Key Point: Both people and organizations need a painted picture to guide their future. Vague “vision statements” and/ or bland, generic “purpose statements” are essentially useless and even demotivating. Broad statements like, “We will be the greatest,” “We will be excellent at,” etc. are often a big waste of time and probably meaningless because they are so abstract. They are left completely to personal interpretation and while that may be attractive in art, it is generally counter productive as a visionary, aspirational guide for individuals and institutions.

I recently heard a presentation by the Chief People and Culture Officer of 1-800-Got-Junk?. This incredibly successful company is totally driven by its “Painted Picture.” Over 3,000 employees (Junkies) and thousands of franchise holders are inspired by founder, Brian Scudamore’s, richly outlined corporate “Painted Picture.” Scudamore and his leadership team paint that picture in sensory detail, always looking five years out. And based on that colorful artistry have accomplished over 96 percent of what they have sketched in their always evolving picture. Watch Scudamore’s video for three minutes to get the essence.

We recently engaged a performance coaching company called The Inside Edge to work with select, top performing leaders. This coaching firm is composed of performance sports psychologists that help world-class athletes achieve their peak and ultimately ascend to the “podium.”  One of their core development techniques involves IMAGERY. The psychology is that if we can hold a vivid picture of ourselves long and steadily enough, we will be drawn to it. This is based on hard-core science and research. So the Inside Edge emphasizes that great results and living starts with a rich picture held in one’s imagination. However, to be truly compelling, this picture ideally involves every sense. It is much more than words. It includes deep detailing of what one can see, hear, smell, taste and feel. All five senses help people understand that our bodies mostly do not distinguish between what is imagined and real. Imagery, whether we do so consciously or not, literally precedes every action and permeates every thing we do. Therefore, positive images support success while negative images undermine.

Character Moves:

1. To create a compelling and powerfully attractive future, paint a sensual picture of it. You need to find a quiet place and allow yourself to enter a relaxed and mindful space. Allow your imagination to outline what you want your future to look like. Paint every part of that image with every sense. Write it out in comprehensive denial. 140 characters will not do. No Twitter feed in this exercise.

2. Painting pictures that involve all senses are exceptionally valuable for outlining an “end state.” For example, where you want to be three to five years from now. However you can use the same technique to change your current state of being (I’m feeling bummed out today), improving performance (getting ready to make a presentation), or problem solving (pre-playing a challenging scenario).

3. Learn how to paint. Your imagination and beautiful mind is your brush. Be your own Picasso!

Painting Pictures in The Triangle

Lorne

One Millennial View: Sometimes we have to overcome the mental shortcomings of doubting where we’ll be in three to five years. It’s a tough question to answer, because you don’t want your audience to scoff at how unrealistic it may be. Thanks to guys like Scudamore, it encourages everyone, especially Millennials, to understand that no detailed “three to five year” answer is just “junk.” 

– Garrett

Edited and published by Garrett Rubis

Closing a Door For the Last Time

Gratitude Growth mindset Respect

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Key Point: Many of us daydream about a new door we hope opens; perhaps a relationship, job opportunity, or some other defining experience. I like to think about what it will feel like when I close a door behind me for the last time. This has happened to me numerous times. Without a doubt, these moments have been searingly emotional, both very difficult and deliciously rewarding. Every time that door has closed, it’s been bittersweet and fortunately most have shut with few regrets.

I so painfully and lovingly remember looking at my Dad for the last time as I left his palliative care room. I could feel the heat of the western sun as I slowly closed the door of a successful business that my partner and I had for 10 years. I recall the last elevator down from the tower of a Fortune 50 Company, and many more memories. I do however make a point of literally picturing that door slowly and finally shutting well before it does. If not, I risk leaving unconsciously without my hand on the rudder. I do not want to spend my time in regretful review after it’s too late.

This week, a board member who I genuinely love as a human being, retired. And I was reflecting on why I feel this way towards him and what I’ll miss. He reflects the essence of a man who lived his purpose through plying the land around him. His aged, weathered face is most defined by gleaming eyes that sparkle with insight, infectious humor and twinkle with mischief. His smile and calmness pulls from the perspective of walking the Great Wall of China, viewing the world from the Eiffel Tower. Yet, he is most rooted in the saddle of his quarter horse during calving time on the ranch. This man closed the door, and on our side he left a legacy of sophisticated common sense along with the idea that nothing is sweeter than the ride. He also reminds us that there is NO end, just another door. At every board or committee meeting, he taught me with his questions. He showed me how to use space in conversations. He reminded me that the very best of power of positivity and encouragement. His humbleness was simply overshadowed by wisdom. Thank you Garnet, I only hope one of my doors closes as sweetly as this one. 

Character Moves:

1. Everything ends. Every door closes. Being clear and intentional how your and my doors will finally close is absolutely a statement about who we are, and much less about how others participated or not.

2. Everything also begins. Usually before a door closes for the last time, we have the opportunity to re enter it many times. Thankfully, simply based on our totally fallible humanness, we can define that final door closing based on a trend and culmination of things we do and say. Think ahead and determine how the trend will be your friend when you finally close the door with the organization you are currently with.

Closing sweetly in The Triangle,

Lorne

One Millennial View: I remember helping one of my best friends move out of his sophomore year college apartment before we both drove back home for the summer. He looked through the window from the outside into his empty place for the last time, and made these stupid “be-boo-be-bop-bee-boo” baby sounds… I’ll never forget that. I remember looking at him being like “WHAT was THAT, dude?” But, I stopped and laughed because it makes complete sense, and it’s hilarious. I still laugh about it. He was saying bye to his “baby” of a place that housed all his experiences from the previous year. To be honest, we still joke about going back and finding some way to hang out at that place again… Needless to say, I’ve done the “be-bop” dumb baby sounds at pretty much every place I’ve lived at since too. I’ve found though, once I walk through that new door, the lighting’s always a little brighter than the place with the closed door.

– Garrett

Edited and published by Garrett Rubis