Are We Becoming Too Darned Soft?

Accountability Growth mindset Resilience


Key Point: I’m starting to wonder if we have collectively lost some level of mental toughness we owe ourselves. Employee engagement scores are at all time lows, in part because more than ever, employees are blaming companies for inadequacies (some well deserved). “It is someone else’s fault that I’m not thriving at work.” “It is somebody else to blame because my career is not progressing.” Apparently, the mysterious “they” is out to prevent people from achieving something or another.

I was struck by Thomas Friedman‘s Op Ed in the New York Times. Essentially teachers are being blamed, more than ever, for students’ inability to get their work done and completed well. If students get D’s and F ‘s, the administration and parents now find “it’s mostly because the teachers haven’t found the key to performance.” “Students don’t get assignments in on time because they are burdened with Facebook and text time.” Huh? Read the article. I hope it makes you stop and think about what this means.

Hey, I’m a big fan of giving feedback effectively and all the enlightened things a good coach should do. But be self-accountable enough to recognize your part in the scheme of things. If you are not clear on your assignment… Get clear. If you’re not engaged… Do what you can to get there. Stop being such a big baby and so darn soft. I’m not asking you to apply self-blame either. That’s destructive. But be honest with yourself. Just do your part to step up. If you’re getting a “D” at work, figure out how to fix it. And if you get feedback that it’s not going well, have the mental toughness to understand your part. I owe the organization A+ work, not B work. If not, I need to suck it up, and fix it… No excuses.

Character Moves:

  1. Take a mental toughness check. How do you think about grading? Demand self-excellence? You can do so and still be kind and empathetic to yourself and others.
  2. Ask yourself if you are taking on the right balance of responsibility for the success of others. (Including your kids, etc, in your personal life).
  3. Getting an A is earned, not a given right. Are you mentally tough enough to demand excellence of yourself and others?

Mentally tough in The Triangle,