Key points for guaranteed success on our New Year’s resolutions:
- If you’ve made a formal New Year’s resolution, you’re more likely to make progress on the matter than someone who doesn’t.
- If you can make it through January applying your resolution, you have a good chance of progress lasting longer.
- With proven strategies and some digital tools you can really increase your odds of success.
The New York Times recently had a great article by Times columnist John Tierney. He and Roy F Baumeister have coauthored “Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength.” Contrary to conventional beliefs, their research supports that you are ten times more likely to change by making a New Year’s resolution than non-resolvers!
Here are the key steps and actions to help you, as determined through Tierney and Baumeister’s research:
- Set clear goals (less is more).
- Pre-commit; bind yourself to taking action (e.g. put money at risk on your resolution).
- Outsource self control by getting help from a support team.
- Keep track of your results.
- Don’t overreact to a lapse.
- Reward yourself on progress often.
- In my January 3rd blog I suggested three practical and specific improvement resolutions regarding making progress in applying The Character Triangle (CT). Determine the CT resolution best for you.
- Write it down and be very specific in defining the resolution. Make progress clear and measurable.
- Apply the support ideas in this blog to help you translate your resolution into a successful habit.
Successful resolutions in The Triangle,
Key Point: Supervisor abuse generally includes rudeness, public criticism, tantrums, and other inconsiderate actions. And this abuse is proven to cause unreasonable levels of stress at work AND home. If the supervisor shows no or little interest in seriously improving, get out of the relationship as soon as you can. No job is worth this abuse in the long run.
A study from Baylor University, reported in article in the winter 2011 issue of Personnel Psychology, found that the stress and tension caused by an abusive boss at work also filters through to an employee’s personal relationships and ultimately the whole family. When people reported having an abusive boss, their significant other was more likely to report increased relationship tension and family conflict at home. Numerous other studies reinforce this finding. Abusive bosses are “stalkers;” they follow you right to your kitchen table.
- Try having a “crucial conversation” with your boss, pointing out abusive behavior. They will demonstrate their commitment to improve through active listening and taking meaningful action to improve.
- Determine how and if you can help them self-improve. However they are self-accountable in stopping the abusive behavior. They need to demonstrate improvement.
- Do not get caught into a “gripe fest” complaining about the boss’ behavior. This helps no one, least of all you.
- Make a plan to get out of the relationship. RESPECT, for yourself and others, is a minimum acceptable requirement in a work environment.
No “stalking” in The Triangle,
Key Point: what are your 2012 Character Triangle resolutions? Commit to these three things (all in your control) and you will make real progress making the Character Triangle have an impact for you and others in 2012 and beyond.
Accountability Resolution: Begin each problem solving meeting in the New Year by describing the issue you want to address for improvement. Start the dialogue by specifically and meaningfully defining FIRST what YOU personally could do to contribute to a resolution. Propose specific ways of how you would go about doing so. THEN ask your teammate(s) to follow suit by having them outline their personal recommendations. Discuss, amend and conclude by connecting each self accountable approach into a joint plan of improvement action.
Respect Resolution: Learn how to use and apply one of the most practical and easy to use listening/problem solving tools and methods. It is called S (situation) T (target) P (proposal): STP. I have had executives tell me years after they have started using it that it remains their most useful tool. Go to my web site www.lornerubis.com and check out the resource section for a quick video tutorial and a PDF explaining how to use it. Or, check out the appendix in “The Character Triangle.” Using STP and the Respect value is reinforced through better listening, dialogue and less negative conflict. Practice the STP until it becomes second nature.
Abundance Resolution: On 30 consecutive working days write a personal note of “thank you” to one person in the company. Be very specific in what behavior you want to say thank you for. Describe what their action meant to others, the company and you in your role. Be timely and spread this across all levels of the company. Schedule this commitment onto your calendar so that you treat this “thank you” activity as a very important meeting.
Commit to the above three actions purposefully and I promise you will see real and measurable positive outcomes.
Three New Year’s Resolutions in the Triangle,