Key Point: our ego sometimes works counterproductively when we try to be “right”, when we get into win/lose situations. The best choice is to understand that relationships with the people we love and care about matters the most. Choosing to love, forgive, and be happy is more important than fighting to “be right.”
Ric Elias had a front-row seat on Flight 1549, the plane that crash-landed in the Hudson River in New York in January 2009. What went through his mind as the doomed plane went down? At TED, he tells his story publicly for the first time. I encourage you to watch his five minute inspirational talk.
In the video Mr. Elias is reflective, “I was given the gift of a miracle, of not dying that day. I was given another gift; I was able to see into the future and come back and live differently. I challenge you guys that are flying today, imagine the same thing happens on your plane — and please don’t — but imagine, and how would you change? What would you get done that you’re waiting to get done because you think you’ll be here forever? How would you change your relationships and the negative energy in them?”
As the flight (just barely) cleared the George Washington Bridge, the following went through Ric’s mind, “I thought about, wow, I really feel one real regret. I’ve lived a good life. In my own humanity and mistakes, I’ve tried to get better at everything I tried. But in my humanity, I also allow my ego to get in. And I regretted the time I wasted on things that did not matter with people that matter. And I thought about my relationship with my wife, with my friends, with people. And after, as I reflected on that, I decided to eliminate negative energy from my life. It’s not perfect, but it’s a lot better. I’ve not had a fight with my wife in two years. It feels great. I no longer try to be right; I choose to be happy.”
Character Move:
- Give thanks this Thanksgiving holiday by reflecting on where you might be wasting time with people who matter the most. What are the areas in your life where you waste time trying to be right rather than accepting and letting go? It really isn’t that important.
- In the spirit of being self accountable, identify what you can do to change that waste of negative energy. Where can you choose to be happy more than fighting to be right?
- Give yourself the miracle of not crashing on that plane and attending to what matters most.
The gift of living in the Triangle,
Lorne