I Battle Regularly with My Ego! What About You?

Accountability Authenticity Growth mindset


When I get defensive, find myself not listening well, being unnecessarily argumentative, etc., it’s likely because my ego is sitting on my shoulder like a petulant parrot, chirping away in protective but usually dysfunctional ways. This is what Sarah Morris of The Parallax Partnership (executive coaching and OD firm in the UK) stated about the ego and leadership in a blog.

“The ego is a rather brittle and inflexible character. When we are in its grip our actions are rooted subconsciously in fear. At all costs, we try to defend our rather vulnerable and fragile self concept. Above all else, the ego fears its disintegration and therefore works tirelessly to build strong defenses which maintain its integrity in the face of ‘the other.’ ‘The other’, of course, is any other person or external event which presents a threat to its stability… ego-full behaviours abound in the workplace including: manipulation, blaming, procrastination, bullying and control-freakery.”

I have become much more conscious and aware of the role of my ego the last few years. When my ego is sitting quietly, I’m able to see more clearly; bring much more calm to any situation, and be a more effective leader. I am more able to concentrate on what’s best for all versus what my ego suggests. Morris goes on to say,

“Our focus on the needs of the whole before our own, creates a more collaborative, creative and sustainable environment for problem-solving. This is the way of the Conscious Leader.”

I wish I was coached to be more aware and conscious earlier in my career. This is to help get you there faster than me!

Setting the ego aside requires the ability to observe that it’s resident and active in our minds. This is harder than it sounds. We are not our mind. One had to be present, and being conscious is the first hurdle. When we are aware, we can proceed in a more collaborative way. The ego can fight the values in the Character Triangle. It can nudge us to blame, attack and horde. It exists for a protective purpose but the ego is a tool for our use not the other way around.

Character Move: Spend time observing when your ego has put you in win/lose situations. What would have happened if you stepped back to focus on the whole? Been more collaborative? Less fearful?

Be Conscious in the Triangle,


Are You Invited to the Summit Series? Why not? Are You a “Netlearner”?

Accountability Growth mindset


One of the hottest tickets in business is the Summit Series, a three-day Caribbean cruise for 1,000 entrepreneurs kicking off from Miami on April 8. People like Virgin’s Sir Richard Branson and Google’s senior vice president of business operations Shona Brown are attending along with many founders from start up ventures and other cultural icons. It is by invitation only.

Ok, I’m not invited and I didn’t get my invitation to Davos (World Economic Forum, held in Davos, Switzerland) this year either. But that’s not stopping me from reaching out to learn and share value with the best thinkers and doers in the world. Everyday my iPad is the gateway to text, voice, and video, bringing the most knowledgeable people in their fields right to my favorite leather chair. On LinkedIn and other sites, I can be in dialogue with people who want to exchange views and help me crystallize my thoughts. In my local community there are numerous groups for more face to face exchange. This is more than just networking. My word for it is netlearning. It involves giving and receiving; it’s a two way value exchange. Honestly, I jump out of bed each day with excitement about what I can learn and share.

Character Move: get out and create your own Summit Series. Develop a plan to find out who you want to exchange value and netlearn from. You have value. You’re worth it. Remember you have to give to receive. Get excited about the daily journey. A Cheetah may lick you!

Netlearning in the Triangle,


PS. One day I believe I will be invited to Davos and/or The Summit Series.

The Old Lady in Purple and The Priest with a Cane. How Do You Score?

Abundance Books


I’m fired up about Guy Kawasaki’s new book Enchantment. Why? It is so darn practical and reinforces the elements of the Character Triangle! As an example, Kawasaki connects trustworthiness and giving. So here is a little reality checklist by Kawasaki to see how much giving is a habit:

  • Give with pure joy to those that cannot help you. Who did you do that for recently?
  • Give early to someone well before you need to ask for help back. Your recent example?
  • Give often and generously; the more you give the more you receive. How are you on this?
  • Give unexpectedly. Surprise and enjoy without expecting anything in return. And this?
  • Ask for reciprocation. Occasionally, but not on a transaction basis, ask for a favor in return. This deepens the relationship. Your score?


Character Move: Just Give! Make it a habit. And then do it more. The little old lady in purple that needed some genuine conversation and disabled priest struggling to catch a taxi – these are my wife’s and my little giving examples yesterday. Hope you had some too.

Abundant in the Triangle,