Ordinary Man Lives Extraordinarily …Thanks Dad

Accountability Personal leadership

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My father, Leo Rubis, passed away on May 22.  He wasn’t big on speeches but spoke volumes to his family and friends by the way he lived. His legacy was that he gave us a road map for living with character, not perfection of course.

He did so by connecting three powerful attributes in his daily life. He was one of the most self accountable people I ever met. He never, as hard as life was, allowed himself to become a victim. He blamed no one for his status in life. When one job ended he got another. When cancer hit, he put one foot in front of the other and said thank you for the life he had. He defined respect by the way he treated everyone. To the day he died, he treated the nurses in the palliative care unit like they were the most important people on earth. But that was how he behaved everyday with everyone when he was well and the boss too. He was known as a gentleman. He was also generous well beyond his means. Things were often tight financially but he never focused on the lack of anything; he just focused on giving the most valuable thing he had …himself. He was always there for his children and grandchildren and others …driving somebody somewhere …slipping 20 dollars in someone’s pocket. When he could have been resting he was at one of the kids games …cheering all on and expecting performance. He just gave.

My father combined self accountability, respect and abundance into something I now call the Character Triangle. I should rename it Leo’s Triangle. The best thing is that his personification of these values demonstrated that an ordinary life by Hollywood standards, could be extraordinary and accessible to all.

I therefore elect my dad to the Character Hall of Fame –  just an ordinary guy living in an extraordinary way.

with Character,

Lorne

Writing is Listening

Communication Empathy Respect

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I have a bias. I believe the best learners/listeners become the best leaders. When I participate in any discussion that is of a business nature, I write down notes. Most importantly, I find that note taking is a form of listening. When I present something and/or participate in a meeting I learn a lot about the participants by their note taking. My experience is that people who do not take notes often are wandering around in their own heads and not really listening. Frankly, the message to me is that they are not that interested. Do they care?

Watch the best listeners and they are often head nodders and eye contactors. They look at you and nod…  and then take notes. Wow they’re listening.

Listening is one of the key elements of respect. Try writing your way to listening. You may find that your ability to understand increases significantly. More importantly the respect between you and those you interact with will be enhanced.

with Character,

Lorne

Who’s On your Personal Board of Directors?

Accountability Growth mindset Well-being

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We all need an internal Board of Directors. I have one but I have not declared that formally with them because I don’t want to burden them that way. (That’s the relationship we have.)  But they are key friends and confidants that guide me on the elements of The Character Triangle and more. I couldn’t be any where near as effective without this group. 

They also represent a balance of spiritual, emotional, intellectual, and financial guidance.  I call them for advice all the time and I know they don’t mind. They care about me and vice versa.

I highly encourage you to establish an internal Board of Directors to help guide your character development.

with Character,

Lorne

Helping People: Character Known but Hardly Practiced

Abundance Organizational culture

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 Ok… I’m getting on a train going to London Paddington from Chippenham (England). In front of me are several elderly folks with heavy luggage.  I offer to step aside as the train stops and help them get their luggage on the train.  They are grateful.  I enjoy helping and am clearly the beneficiary of giving a little kindness.

Later, I’m on Kensington High Street in London.  I find a Starbucks and am about to enter when a group of four people appear.  I open the door and let them in before me. They look at me with suspicion, like, “Why doesn’t this guy want to order his coffee before us?  He’s not in that much of a hurry!?  Why?!” I notice shock and concern is expressed by the four.

As you might have been able to figure out, I travel a lot and notice that it’s mostly an “every person for him/herself” situation on all transportation activity. So often I’ve seen people struggling with heavy bags off luggage racks or the overhead bins… sometimes to their physical detriment.  Therefore, I have started a personal campaign to help someone with a bag every trip I’m on. I do not want to patronize anyone but when I see people struggling, I try and lend a hand.

Opening doors?  Letting people in line? Being kind. Being generous of spirit without wanting anything in return? These are actions completely in our control. And we get the benefit and goodwill without asking for it. Maybe that’s why Liberty Mutual has built an entire advertising platform around responsibility and doing the right thing.

In an office environment, it could mean helping a person struggling with a project, bringing an extra glass of water for a colleague at a meeting, opening doors for people going from one corridor to another, and ultimately just being present and aware of your teammates and surroundings. Where you go provides opportunities to practice Character every day.

with Character,

Lorne